Invitations and announcements.

Understanding Invitations: What They Mean & How to Use Them

An invitation establishes the mood for an initial impression of your event. Is it a black-tie function or a grilled-chicken-and-hot-dogs-BBQ? The tone of the invitation—and whether you send it via mail, email, or phone text—should be commensurate with the tone of the event. You will also need to know when to send out invitations and what to include on them: who attends, what is the event, when and where is the event, and why.

Being invited is a compliment. It means that your presence in their company matters to the host. As a guest, you also have a social responsibility to reply—whether you can attend or not. Even if you need to say no, always thank the host for the invitation.

What Every Invitation Should Have

When texting some friends or sending official cards, your invitation should clearly have:

Who: Mention all hosts. In formal events, use full titles and names.

Example: Dr. and Mrs. Raja Peshara

What: Mention what kind of event it is—dinner party, baby shower, birthday, etc.

When: Include date and time. Year is not usually required in most events except for a wedding.

Where: Give the venue—home address, park, venue, etc.

Why: Tell guests why they are invited (if it is a special occasion) e.g., birthday or retirement.

How to RSVP: Let guests know how and when to reply—by phone, email, or website.

Other Info: Mention anything else they need to know—what to bring, dress code, or surprise. 

Types of Invitations and How to Send Them

Mailed Invitations

Still the most suitable for such formal events as weddings, galas, or milestone celebrations. Any event where you wish to have a personal touch will also be suitable for them. Printed or handwritten cards make you feel appreciated and thought of.

Phone Invitations

Ideal for casual, intimate gatherings like brunch, BBQs, or cocktail parties with close friends. You get an instant reply and may chat over details like what to bring or wear.

Example

"Hey, Chloe—it's Trish. We're having a few friends over to dinner Saturday evening at 7. It's informal. Can you and Sam come??"

If they are not home, leave a voicemail but try calling again to confirm in person.

Email & E-vites

Best for casual gatherings, especially with friends or family you communicate with online on a regular basis. Cyber invitations are time and cost-efficient and often have RSVP counters and maps.

Benefits: Fast, easy, eco-friendly

Cons: Can wind up in spam or be too impersonal for special occasions

E-vite tips:

Double-check for proper email addresses

Include all necessary details (who, what, when, where, why, how to reply)

Leave a message that is personalized

Review over before sending

Make guest list invisible if guests do not know each other

Remind guests if responses are not received

Send reminder one or two days before event

More Info You May Need to Include

For certain events, you can insert enclosures (e.g., maps, tickets, or timetables). Place them on top of the invitation inside the envelope in a way that all visitors realize when they open it.

You can insert:

Directions or contact details

Event schedule (weddings or weekend parties)

Tickets (concerts, games, graduation)

Registry information (only showers—not weddings)

RSVP card with reply envelope or postcard

How & When to Ask for RSVPs

"RSVP" means "please respond." Asking guests to "RSVP by July 10" or "Please reply" is asking them to let you know if they can attend. Always include a phone number, email address, or return address.

If the guests don't respond, you can call or text them to remind them it's okay. You might say:

"Making sure you got the invitation—can you get back to me by Thursday?"

Don't use "Regrets only" unless the situation is very casual. Most people do not understand what it means, and it causes surprises at the eleventh hour.

Invitation Descriptions

Use full names and titles when writing formal invitations. First names or nicknames are fine when inviting informally. These are some general tips:

Send one invitation per household

Teenagers will get their own invitation

List the children's names on the envelope if they're invited

Unmarried couples living together get one invitation with both names

Roommates or siblings may have their own separate invitations or one invitation with their names

Group Hosting?

In case there are more than one host, list all of them. The host at their residence usually comes first. You may list the rest alphabetically or in an evenly balanced visual arrangement on the invitation.

Potluck, BYOB, and BYOF

BYOB: Bring your own drinks

BYOF: Bring your own food (used frequently for picnics)

Potluck: Guests contribute a dish to serve to everyone

These are casual, often last-minute affairs where the host shares planning and cost with guests. Clarify expectations on the invitation.

When to Send Invitations

Send invitations early enough so that guests will be able to respond and make travel plans. The following are some general guidelines:

Casual events (BBQs, brunch): 1–2 weeks ahead

Informal parties (cocktail parties, buffets): 2–3 weeks ahead

Formal parties (weddings, milestone birthdays): 4–8 weeks ahead

Holidays or travel-required events: 6+ weeks ahead

Examples of Invitations

Informal Printed Invite:

Please join us

for our Annual New Year’s Bonfire  

December 31  

10:30 PM to 1:00 AM  

The Landers’ Home, 1706 South Road, Charlotte  

RSVP: 802-555-4321  

Kids and houseguests welcome  

Handwritten Note:

Dear Liz,

Howard and I would like to have you, Ed, and the children join us for brunch on Saturday, the 18th of September, at noon.  

Call me at 555-6655 to RSVP.  

Annette Wanamaker  

1444 Post Road  

[Formal Invitations] – A Summary in Other Words

While informal gatherings are popular among Americans today, formal invitations are still made for most events. Wedding receptions are the best example, but they're also used for parties like presentation balls, charitable events, inaugural balls (after elections), official receptions of the government, and private gatherings like elegant dinners or cocktail parties. People enjoy the formal setting and a chance to be dressed up.

What Constitutes a Formal Invitation?

The invitation itself is the first sign of a formal function. Its design and wording separate it from casual ones. Formal invitations are typically in the form of thick, cream-colored envelopes, often hand-written or in calligraphy.

Key Features of Formal Invitations

Format and Paper: Printed or enameled on paper that is white, cream, or soft pastel, of high quality. Borders may be raised or colored (e.g., silver for a 25th anniversary). Black-borders used to be used only for death notices but can now be used for black-and-white affairs—just don't do anything that feels glum.

Size: Standard size is about 3 by 4 units (i.e., at least 5x7 inches in size due to postal requirements).

Font: Use a plain, conventional serif font (e.g., Times Roman or Palatino). Consult a professional stationer.

Names and Titles: Use full names (no initials or nicknames) and correct courtesy titles (e.g., Mr., Mrs., Dr.). Abbreviations may be used for general titles, but full titles are used for clergy, military, and members of Congress.

Wording style: Third person. Use phrases like "request the pleasure of your company…" for non-religious events, or "request the honour of your presence…" for events in a religious setting. The British spelling "honour" has customarily been utilized in the latter.

Punctuation: Only use where indicated, e.g., between a day and a date: "Saturday, the tenth of June."

Spelling and Numbers: Write out dates, times, and addresses in full. For example: "Seven o'clock," "Highland Crescent," and "Two thousand twenty-five."

Reply Requests: Use one standard format, either "R.S.V.P.," "Please reply," or "The favour of a reply is requested." Add a deadline where necessary.

Dress Code: While "Black tie" or "White tie" were once left off wedding invitations, it is now acceptable to add them to the bottom right hand corner for clarity.

Example of a Traditional Formal Invitation

Printed or engraved formal invitations have formal formats. Handwritten ones are of the same format but very uncommon nowadays.

Inviting a Guest

If someone may bring a guest:

Never put on the outside envelope "Ms. Halley and Guest."

Use the inside envelope for "Ms. Halley and Guest."

If the invitation itself mentions the guest, it must be "Ms. Susan Halley and Guest."

Or add a short, penned note to add the invitation.

Pre-Printed Fill-in Invitations

These are easy to use for repeat hosts. The card is pre-printed, with handwritten blanks:

Mr. and Mrs. James Walker Martin's

Dinner

On Saturday, the fourth of December

At half after seven o'clock

Add the name of the honoree if relevant: "To meet Senator Gayden Lang and Mrs. Lang."

Group-Hosted Formal Events

Large-scale formal events are usually from organizations and not individuals.

Private Charity Events

A ticket does have ticket prices and reply details.

Insert reply card, envelope, and perhaps names of patrons or committee members.

Post 4–6 weeks in advance.

Return card and payment is tantamount to acceptance.

Public Formal Events

Hosted by charitable organizations or clubs.

Prices and reply details are on the invitation.

Same duration and mode of reply as private events.

Presentation Balls

Hosted by cotillions or private clubs to introduce young ladies.

Luncheon invitations occasionally restricted to members, families, and close acquaintances.

May include honored guests, committee members, etc.

Mailed 6 weeks in advance or sooner.

Suggestion: For large gatherings, reply envelopes may not be stamped to save money.

Responding to Formal Invitations

You don't have to attend if invited—but you do need to send a response if requested.

How to Respond

Respond as quickly as possible, ideally within a few days.

If a time is given, make sure your reply arrives on time.

With formal invitations (written or email), you can reply ASAP—or let them know you'll look at your calendar and phone them in the near future.

Copy the reply format from what is asked on the invitation (email, phone, card, etc.).

Writing Your Response

Be short and polite.

You do not need to say why if you are unable to attend—unless you want to.

Examples:

Acceptance:

Dear Denise,

Neil and I would be delighted to accept your invitation to lunch on Saturday, April 10.

Yours sincerely,

Claire

Regret:

Dear Mrs. Duvall,

I'm sorry that Richard and I must regret your invitation for March 21. We will be going to the debate finals in Springfield.

Sincerely,

Alicia Barnes

If responding by phone, just recite the same message briefly but clearly.

If You Might Have a Schedule Conflict

Let the host know you’re unsure and will confirm soon. For casual events, this is fine. For formal events or short-notice invitations, it’s better to decline than leave the host waiting.

Partial Acceptances

If the invite is for multiple people and only some can attend, one person can reply for all. Example:

Dear Barbara,

Peter and I would be happy to attend your garden party on the 22nd of May. My mother, however, is visiting a cousin and wishes she could join in but regrets it.

Best regards,

Tania

When No Reply Is Requested

If there is no reply requested or "Regrets only," you are not required to respond. Nevertheless, it's courteous to let the host know if you're unable to attend.

Late Invitations

If the invitation is after the event has taken place, it's polite to call and thank the host for inviting you and apologize for not being able to attend the event.

How to Respond to a Formal Invitation

Responding to Formal Invitations

If a formal invitation is not marked with a phone number, e-mail address, or reply card, an explicit written response is expected—especially for RSVP or "Regrets only" invitations. Send your response to the return address on the envelope or address listed beside the RSVP. If more than one host is listed, only one address is usually provided—respond to that person, but mention all hosts in your message.

You may reply in either of two manners:

A formal note, which imitates the tone and style of the invitation.

A personal note, when you are close to the host and wish to give a more personal reason for declining.

Formal notes are simpler than they seem—just mimic the style of the invitation. Hand-write on plain or monogrammed stationery, center each line. Punctuate only to signal abbreviations and to enumerate items on the same line.

Examples of Formal Responses

Formal Acceptance – Two Styles

Mr. and Mrs. Nicholas Stamos  

accept with pleasure  

the gracious invitation of  

Mr. and Mrs. George Fletcher  

for dinner

on Friday, the ninth of July  

at half past eight o’clock  

OR

Mr. and Mrs. Nicholas Stamos  

accept with pleasure  

Mr. and Mrs. George Fletcher’s  

kind invitation for dinner  

on Friday, the ninth of July  

at half past eight o’clock  

Formal Regret – Two Styles

Dr. and Mrs. Vincent Alvarado  

regret that they are unable to accept

the very kind invitation of  

Mr. and Mrs. Doyle Ambrose  

for Friday, the sixth of August  

OR  

Dr. and Mrs. Vincent Alvarado  

regret that they cannot accept  

Mr. and Mrs. Doyle Ambrose's  

very kind invitation  

for Friday, the sixth of August  

Note: Put the event time in acceptances only—not in regrets—to assure your knowledge of when the event will happen.

When Only Some Guests Are Invited

Mr. and Mrs. Peter Carlson  

accept with pleasure  

Mr. and Mrs. Bollinger's  

friendly invitation for  

Saturday, May twenty-second  

at seven o'clock  

but regret that  

Ms. Tina Carlson  

will be unable to attend  

Replying to Multiple Hosts

Type out all the hosts in your reply, in the order they appear on the invitation. Send your envelope to the host for responses or, if none is specified, to the first name appearing on the invitation.

Example:

Ms. Juliana Varden

accepts with pleasure

the kind invitation of

Mrs. Chambers and

Ms. Underwood and

Mrs. Knight

for Wednesday, the thirteenth of October

at half past twelve o'clock

(Again, do not put the time in a regret.)

Replying to a Committee

If the host is a committee and the invitation lists many names:

Mr. and Mrs. Ken Ichida

accept with pleasure

your kind invitation

Replying to an Organization

If the host is an organization, and there is no reply card, write a handwritten note:

Mr. Herbert Wyatt

accepts with pleasure

the kind offer of

the University Club

[Reply Cards & Enclosures]

Reply cards are sometimes inserted now to encourage guests to reply. Guests will reply faster when a card, envelope, and even a stamp are provided.

Fixing Name or Title Errors

If your name or title is misspelled on the invitation (e.g., "John" instead of "Jon," or "Mr. and Mrs." instead of "Mr. Burns and Ms. Gates"), don't make a big deal out of it. Just reply politely and add the correct information:

"Sandra Gates. John and I will be attending the gala on the 25th. And, for your records, we are Mr. John Burns and Ms. Sandra Gates—not Mr. and Mrs. Burns. Thank you."

In case the error might have the potential to land the invitation in the hands of the wrong person entirely, telephone the host before you respond.

Filling Out a Reply Card

Reply cards are smaller than the invitation and usually formatted similarly. They are written face up over the invitation. If there is a reply envelope, the card goes under the flap, again over the invitation. 

You need only complete:

Your name(s)

Whether you accept or reject

Cards often start with a stamped "M" for the title (e.g., Mr., Mrs., Ms.). Cross it out if you have to and stamp your actual title (e.g., Dr., Rev.). Titles can be abbreviated to save space. You can even stamp names of other guests below your own.

Some people add brief comments (e.g., "Can't wait to attend!" or "Sorry to miss it"), but this is optional.

Canceling or Rescheduling Events

When a function is canceled or rescheduled, hosts must inform all invitees immediately. When canceling an informal function, a phone call, e-mail, or short note will do. For formal functions, distribute a printed (though not engraved) card—if time is available. If it is an emergency like illness or death, a good friend may help with notifying invitees.

Example of a Formal Cancellation Card:

Because of a family illness

Mr. and Mrs. Carlo Marchetti  have to remember their invitations  for Thursday, the ninth of December  If rebooking because of an intervening business trip, for example, include a personal note: Dear Laurie and Jan,

I just found out I need to be in Hong Kong on the 16th, so I've rescheduled the dinner to Friday, May 7. Let me know if you can still come. I'm back April 21—call or email to confirm. Thanks for the inconvenience!

Best, Carl

555-5467

carljones@xyz.com

Announcements

Announcements are used to announce important life events—births, adoptions, weddings, graduations, or name/address changes.

Normally, they are printed or engraved in formal language on quality paper. However, less formal styles and designs are in vogue these days, e.g., bright designs or email/social media alerts.

Etiquette of Importance

You are not required to send a present on receiving an announcement.

A polite congratulations note is welcomed but not required.

If you do send a present, the gift-giver must write a thank-you letter.

Business Announcements

Businesses can include promotions, certifications (e.g., CPA), new positions available, mergers, relocation, or name change. These are distributed to co-workers, customers, or the general public. 

Newspaper Announcements

Two kinds:

Free Listings: Given to the newspaper and open to approval and modification. No guarantee of publication or on a specific date.

Paid Notices: Space is paid for, wording chosen, and date of publication chosen. These are edited and checked for clarity and appropriateness.

For either type:

Put it in early

Apply for forms, deadlines, and fees (some papers now pay for notices they once ran free)

Newsletters and Bulletins

For church, workplace, club, etc., newsletters, request submission guidelines and deadlines from the editor. These are usually free but may be edited for style.