Entertaining at home.

Home Entertaining: A Modern Spin

From weekend backyard barbecues to dinner parties, Americans are fond of entertaining in the home. The setting is generally relaxed, with an eye to having people over rather than being stuffy. Formal dinners do take place for business or occasions, but home entertaining is less formal. The traditional "Sunday dinner" is coming back—no matter what day it is—with family and friends pitching in together to do the cooking and linger over long, relaxed meals. Formal etiquette has been replaced with informality, and modern-day hosts are more concerned about making their guests feel comfortable than with impeccable presentation. Whether a formal sit-down dinner or buffet affair, the secret to a successful get-together is a warm, inviting mood.

Even a casual party needs to be well planned. Good intentions are not enough to guarantee an event's success—you still need to work at meticulous organization, execution, and gracious hosting.

Starting Your Party Plan

Before you start daydreaming about menus and guest lists, you need to get a few basics sorted out:

Set the Date & Time: Choose a day and time that is convenient for you and your guests. Keep an eye on their schedules and double-check with important people (such as a guest of honor). If you intend to employ staff, note that holidays and peak seasons book up in advance.

Select Your Guests: The party is made by the right crowd. Attempt to invite those who will mesh with one another, even if they don't know each other. The nature of the event usually determines the list—who to invite—e.g., company coworkers for a corporate dinner or family and friends for an anniversary. When hosting a party for someone's sake, they tend to assist in compiling the list.

How Many People?: A small 4–6 person dinner is within reach for most. Depending on your space, larger groups are possible. Rearranging furniture or employing folding tables and chairs can accommodate more guests. Even lap dining is an option at informal gatherings. Just make sure everyone has a comfortable place to sit and room to move around.

Check your supplies: Dishes, glasses, utensils, and linens are all part of that check. You can always borrow or rent what you're missing .

Consider the weather : Outdoor parties are wonderful on nice days, but that same guest count might feel cramped indoors during those colder months.

Budget in time & money

Decide up front how much you are willing to spend and how much time you are willing to commit. Food and drink usually consume most of the budget, so prioritize them first and then extras like decorations. For large events, your budget can determine if you hire staff or hire equipment.

Make good use of your time, too. A romantic dinner can be handled alone, but with eight or more, call in the troops—friends, relatives, or hire a professional. A host should be free, greeting guests and controlling the flow, not indentured in the kitchen.

Entertaining Beyond Home

For hosts with limited time or space, eating out at restaurants or clubs is the perfect solution. They enable you to host large groups or parties at other cities with little hassle. Astonishingly, taking into consideration all the cost of a home party (time and materials not excepted), dining out could quite possibly prove to be less expensive.

The essentials of planning remain the same: choose the date, number of guests, and budget. Next choose a location, arrange with staff for menu and layout, and arrange for bill and tip. If you are new to the venue, taste the food in advance.

Planning the Format

Most evening parties take one of the following forms:

Seated Dinner (Food Served at Table):

Served: Individual courses served by staff (formal presentation).

Plated: You plate each dish in the kitchen and then serve them— great for small groups.

Family Style: Food is set on the table, and the guests serve themselves or are served by the host.

Semibuffet (Buffet with Seated Dining): Guests serve themselves at a buffet table but eat seated. Drinks and desserts might be served at the table.

Buffet with Casual Seating: All food is set out buffet-style, and individuals eat where they like. Characteristic of barbecues, brunches, and casual parties.

Invitations

For casual dinners, one or two weeks' notice is fine. Formal events pay closer attention—3–6 weeks.

The manner in which guests are invited ranges from formal printed invitations to simple phone calls or emails, depending on the level of formality.

Menu Planning

Your menu will also be based on the style of the party, who is preparing, kitchen limitations, dietary likes and dislikes of your guests, and your budget. Your goal is to create a well-balanced meal in taste, color, and texture.

Don't experiment with new recipes.

You don't need to have a high number of courses—three or four is enough.

For buffets, there are a number of entrées and sides; formal dinners have up to six courses.

Dessert buffets or cocktail parties don't have to be complicated and tiresome.

Wines and Beverages

It's not necessary to serve a different wine for each course. Choose wines that go well with your food and that you enjoy. Ask the wine shop for advice, and try unusual wines first.

Serving Suggestions:

Chill white wines and rosés; red wines can be chilled slightly.

Decant older red wines to avoid sediment.

Fill half full with wineglasses to retain aroma and avoid spills. 

Support glasses by the stem to keep the wine from warming and not smudge the glass. 

Dietary Restrictions

Avoid possible allergens like peanuts and MSG, and be cautious with highly spiced foods unless you get the feeling your guests like them. Ask about allergies or special requirements with first-time guests, and remind them to inform you if they have restrictions.

Creating the Right Atmosphere

Nurturing surroundings are important:

Clean & Tidy: Keep the entry and common areas clean and well-lit.

Seating: Have enough chairs and space for everyone, or be creative with floor cushions and stools.

Room Setup: Arrange furniture for unobstructed mobility and comfortable conversation. Place food and drinks away from doorways.

Lighting & Music: Keep lighting soft but adequate, and music at low levels to avoid overpowering conversation.

The Dinner Table

Linens: Keep table coverings simple. Avoid overly frilly or short tablecloths.

Centerpieces: Use low decorations that don’t block the view. Avoid strong scents and scented candles.

Buffet Tables: Plan for smooth flow. Arrange items in a logical order—salad, sides, then main dishes—with utensils at the end.

Seating Arrangements

Have a plan so you’re not scrambling during the party:

Place honored guests next to the host or hostess.

Mix up couples to encourage mingling.

Consider interests, personality, or special needs (e.g., left-handed guests or hearing-impaired guests).

Use place cards for big or formal parties, in proportion to formality, naming guests.

Beginning the Party

Prepare to greet guests on time. Greet with a beverage, help with introductions, and mingle to keep the party going. 

At the party:

Encourage conversations.

Refill drinks and take away dirty glasses.

Monitor the guest bathroom.

Use aides if needed, especially with large groups.

Announcing Dinner

Small Group: The host simply says, “Dinner is ready.”

Large Group: The host moves from group to group, inviting guests to the dining area. Enlist a few close friends to lead the way—others will follow.

Drink Glass Etiquette

You may bring your partially finished cocktail to the table and finish it before eating, or leave it on a side table with a coaster. Never bring an empty glass to the table.

Hosts bring out clean wine glasses onto the table.

Specialty beers are served before dinner, typically a glass for self-serving. Bottles and cans only for casual affairs.

If you don't want wine, say so or simply place your hand on top of the glass. A server will remove it.

Starting the Meal

Guests begin when the host raises their fork, or following a blessing or toast.

In big groups or when hosting, hosts can ask guests to dine ahead of them so that the food can be warmed up.

At a buffet, people begin eating while sitting down, though a quick welcome or toast is a permissible courtesy.

During the Meal

Hosts create conversation, keeping it friendly and inclusive.

Silence between courses is acceptable—conversations will resume.

Hosts watch out for domineering guests or sensitive topics and steer conversations around accordingly.

Check levels of food and beverages, serve seconds, and replenish drinks as appropriate. 

Conclusion of the Meal

Following dessert, coffee, tea, or liqueurs are served at the table or in another room.

The host then ends the meal by rising and encouraging guests to continue socializing elsewhere.

Following Dessert

It is fine to provide coffee with dessert. Liquor is not necessary, particularly if guests are driving.

Although dinner is over, it's nice to offer small things like mints or nuts to accompany coffee.

After dinner time is spent sitting around and conversing. Mild entertainment such as games or music may be enjoyed, but never forced.

Goodbyes

Guests usually leave 45 minutes to one hour after dinner.

Bid farewell to guests and thank them politely.

Don't clean up while guests are still around unless they've overstayed. If someone insists on cleaning, decline politely unless they are relatives or close friends.

Returning Items

Return clean, guest-supplied, or borrowed dishes timely—ideally before they leave or within a day or two.

Clearing the Table

Clear dishes between courses—plates, utensils, and glasses.

Don't stack plates; clear two at a time from the guest's right.

Clear condiments and unused items before dessert.

Blow candles out after dessert.

Leave washing till later, but a friend or older child can help clear if necessary.

Guests' Safety

Never let a drinking guest drive. Remove their keys, cut off serving alcohol, and provide a bed to sleep in or organize safe transport.

If you employed staff, thank and pay them promptly. Make clear hours and duties beforehand.

Hiring a Caterer

Caterers can save time and may be more affordable than expected.

Get recommendations, compare options, sample their food, and check references.

Decide on your budget and party details before contacting them.

Clarify responsibilities, supplies, and whether they’ll provide staff or just food.

 Daytime Entertaining

Lunch: Lighter fare like salads, soups, and sandwiches. Alcohol is optional. Keep it timely and informal.

Breakfast: More official meal traditionally tied to an event. Serve traditional breakfast food, juice, tea, and coffee—no alcohol.

Brunch: Mid-morning mix of breakfast and lunch food. Typically buffet and informal. Light wines, mimosas, or fruit punches are fashionable.

Late Suppers

Served following evening events. Food is light and informal—omelets, light desserts, or coffee. Serve buffet or on trays.

Barbecues & Picnics

Informal and fashionable. Still require planning and food safety.

Coordinate dishes if food is brought by guests.

Leave no mess at all—never leave trash, food, or hot coals behind.

Use caution with smoke and neighbors when grilling near houses.

Potluck Dinners

Everyone brings a dish—coordination is necessary to have variety.

Organizers can bring the main course or dessert.

Non-cooks can bring supplies (plates, drinks, etc.).

Label containers and coordinate ahead of time for what to do with leftovers.

Cocktail Parties

Easy to host, less formal than dinner parties, and perfect for socializing.

Invitations: Put start and stop time. RSVP is polite but not necessary.

Drinks: Have stock liquors and mixers. Provide ice, napkins, and coasters.

Food: Provide simple finger foods like cheese, nuts, crudités.

If you're alone, bring first round of beverages to guests and have them serve themselves.

Mingling & Etiquette

When you're single at a party, introduce people and say hello to others.

Participate in group conversations only if topic is general or open.

Manage beverages, food, and handshakes gracefully—laugh if it means juggling.

Properly dispose of toothpicks and garnishes, not on the table.

Shoes Off?

It's okay to request that guests take off their shoes, particularly in inclement weather, but offer slippers or socks.

Don't ask this at classy affairs or with strangers.

Ultra-Casual Parties

They can be potlucks or BYOB.

Keep it clean and casual. Disposable or reusable greenware dinner plates are the way to go.

Do your minimum hosting responsibilities no matter how casual the party is.

Open House Parties

Guests arrive and depart within a timeframe (e.g., 2–6 PM).

Typically done for holidays or housewarmings. Mail, email, or call invitations.

Depending on the size of the party, the food can be snacks or complete buffets. Guests usually remain an hour.

Housewarmings

Are somewhat more like open houses, but can be smaller gatherings.

Send invitations 2–3 weeks in advance.

Be willing to give tours; pick up all areas, including closets.

Gifts are often brought by guests. You can open them during the party or afterward (send thank-you notes).

Common-Interest Parties

Book clubs, knitting groups, TV parties, etc.

Alternate hosting. Be gracious, no fights, and respect differing opinions.

Thank the host when you leave and help with clean-up if you can.

Wine-Tasting Dinners

Friends gather for wine and food pairings.

The wine chooser offers a description of each wine before tasting.

Don't drink ahead or request unserved wines.

Cooking Clubs

Participants cook and sample new recipes together.

Everyone has a dish assigned to them; host serves beverages and sets the table.

Help clean up and offer constructive criticism—but don't criticize anyone's culinary skills.