Telephone manners.

Modern-Day Telephones and Phone Manners

There are so many kinds of telephones today, and they get to do so much. Depending on your phone and service, not only can you receive and place calls, but also you can see who is calling, flip calls, take or leave messages, do video calling, take and share photos, and access email and the internet.

With all these aspects, one cannot but ask if phone etiquette has also changed. The fundamentals of phone etiquette remain the same, no matter what device is used. But with newer capabilities such as speakerphone, conference calling, texting, headsets, and cameras, one needs to consider what's polite and respectful in today's climate.

Being Present and Respectful

Good phone manners begin by considering your surroundings and who you’re with. If you’re with someone in person, give them your full attention. It’s rude to interrupt a conversation to check your phone, answer a call, or send a message. Wait until it’s appropriate and won’t disturb others—such as in public transport, checkout lines, or movie theaters.

When you're on the phone, speak clearly and don't yell. If you're at an open office or in a public space, talk softly so you won't disturb anyone else. Pay attention to your tone—since facial expressions aren't there, the individuals on the other end of the line will be able to pick up your meaning by your tone, so select one that matches what you're doing.

General Phone Manners

Regardless of whether you're using a landline or a mobile phone, some simple phone etiquette rules cross the board—especially when answering, calling, or using features like voicemail or caller ID.

Answering Calls

For private calls, you can say a plain old "Hello." If you're answering someone else's line, you can say, "Hello, Marshall residence."

Don't:

Demanding "Who is this?" in an aggressive tone. Instead, try "May I ask who's calling?"

Making a person wait with "Hold on" and then hanging up. Being busy? Simply tell them you'll call back—and do call back.

Holding it for very young children. Children under six often can't take messages correctly.

If the Call Isn't for You

Say to the individual, "One moment, I'll get her," and go retrieve the person right away. Don't yell around the house; if you have to yell, hold the mouthpiece. If the individual is not there, take down the message and leave it down, including name, number, time, and date.

Wrong Numbers

If you're called by error, simply say, "Sorry, wrong number." If they insist on knowing who you are, respond with, "Who are you calling?" Only give out your number if it puts you at ease.

Caller ID

Caller ID enables you to screen or callback. Don't reply with "Hi Jim" unless you know who is calling—someone else could be using Jim's phone, and you'd sound like a fool.

Offensive or Prank Calls

Hang up immediately if you get an obscene call. If it persists, leave the phone on the hook or contact your telephone company or the police. Prank calls are less offensive but still annoying. Don't answer—most prank callers will lose interest shortly.

Dealing with Telemarketers

Shouting at the person calling won't help—they're just reading from a list. Instead:

Request politely to be removed from their list.

Register your number on the national Do Not Call list: 1-888-382-1222 or donotcall.gov.

See how political groups, charities, and surveys are not included in this list. If you do not want to hear from them also, simply reply, "No, thank you," and request that they add you to their blocked list. If a caller is not respectful of no, say, "I'm not interested, and I have to hang up now." Then hang up slowly—don't slam the phone.

Making a Call

Good phone manners start long before anyone ever lifts the phone. Allow the phone 5–6 rings before hanging up or leaving a message.

Remember:

Call in a quiet area so you will be heard well. If background noise is making it hard to be heard, ask to call back.

Don't call in areas with poor signal or as you're approaching tunnels.

Always identify yourself when someone answers, even for relatives or friends.

Ask if it's a good time to talk, if the call is going to take a long time.

Leave short, businesslike messages if the person is not there.

If You Receive a Wrong Number

Excuse yourself in a nice way—don't just hang up or mutter, "What number is this?" A better reply is, "Sorry, I must have dialed incorrectly. I was calling." and give the correct number you were calling.

Phone Invitations

When inviting by phone, be direct:

“Hi Marianne, we’re having a few people over Saturday night. Can you and Hank come?” This lets them say yes or no without awkwardness.

Avoid asking, “Are you busy Saturday night?”—it can make someone feel trapped.

If you receive a phone invitation, respond promptly. Don’t say “I’ll let you know” unless you explain why and follow up within a day or two.

Timing Your Calls

Call between 9:00 AM and 9:00 PM unless you're sure the person doesn't mind being called earlier or later. Consider kids or people in different time zones. When someone hints at not wanting to be called at certain times, respect that. 

A Note on Guests Using Your Phone

If a guest, like a visiting relative, regularly borrows your phone without offering to pay, consider whether it really matters. If so, be direct but polite:

"Aunt Judith, I'm short on funds. Would you make a calling card or charge your calls to your own number?"

Here is the same passage rewritten and condensed while maintaining the same underlying concepts but in a simpler and more modern format:

Using Another Person's Phone

Always request permission first to use someone else's mobile phone or landline. Keep your call brief and, if it's a long-distance or lengthy call, suggest paying them back. As the majority of phones come equipped with caller ID, give a clear introduction, for instance, "Hello, this is Liz Chou calling from Dan Baker's phone."

While on a Call

Follow basically all the rules of talking in person. Speak clearly, don't yell-your voice tends to go up without you being aware. The other person is not a mirror; listen more than you talk and ask questions to show an interest in the other person as well. When you can't see that person nodding or smiling, use words like "I see" or "That makes sense" to let them know you are listening.

Even if the calls are cheaper these days, be considerate of other people's time and do not prolong the conversation unnecessarily.

Call-Waiting Etiquette

Call-waiting is convenient when required, but rude at the same time. If you're told to sit out another call, okay, but if the individual takes more than 90 seconds, you can hang up. When they return, be courteous, regardless of how long they left you waiting.

If you're the recipient of the second call, ask them politely to put the caller on hold. Quickly answer the second call and, unless this is an emergency, let them know that you'll call back. Under no circumstances should you keep the original caller waiting on hold for more than 20–30 seconds. If you're expecting an urgent call, give the caller warning so they understand if you'll have to break off.

Leaving a call back on voicemail instead of call-waiting is generally the more polite option—it lets you get on with your current conversation and call others back afterwards.

Other Interruptions

If there's an emergency—like the doorbell ringing—ask to call back and do so. If you're concerned about safety or who may be at the door, you can ask the caller to hold while you check.

Dropped Calls & Bad Connections

If it gets dropped, the caller needs to redial and say sorry, even due to poor signal. Not calling back will look rude as if you walked out in the middle of the conversation. If you are in a poorly covered area, wait until your signal gets better and call again.

If you're the one called and the line hangs up, wait a few minutes. If the caller doesn't re-call, call yourself to check back and wrap things up.

If the sound quality is poor, ask to hang up and redial. A second call will often cure the issue.

Phone Blunders to Evade

These are mannerisms that come across as rude—especially in business contexts:

Talking to another person in the room unless it is unavoidable and you explain why.

Multitasking during the call (typing, doing laundry).

Chewing gum or eating, which might be loud and annoying to the other party.

Sneezing or coughing into the receiver—excuse yourself and turn your head away.

Talking from a bathroom stall—it's not hygienic and makes the others uncomfortable.

Ending a Call Politely

Traditionally, the caller would say goodbye. If you're wrapping things up, you might say, "It was good talking to you, see you later." If the other person is droning on and you have to go, wait for a pause, then firmly and politely say, "Sorry, I need to go now."

Special Phone Situations

Conference Calls

Start off greeting so you know who's speaking. Keep repeating yourself periodically until voices become familiar. Make sure everyone gets a turn to talk—without visual cues, it becomes harder to know when to speak.

Speakerphones

Use speakerphone only if everyone on the call is okay with it. Greet those in the room:

"Hello, Mom. It's me, Jeff—may I put you on speaker? Liza and Jack are here, too."

Speakerphones are impersonal and hard to hear. If you can hear another person using one and are having difficulty hearing, for example, "Am I on speaker? I'm having trouble hearing—can you switch to the handset?"

Text Telephones (TTY/TDD)

These devices allow deaf or hard-of-hearing individuals to type messages back and forth. If a third-party relay service is used, the listener should talk slowly and clearly, and remember that the communication is confidential and private, even if it is about sensitive information.

Answering Machines and Voicemail

Recording a Greeting

Keep it short and clear. Avoid music and long introductions. A simple message is best:

“This is Julio Hernandez. Please leave a message and I’ll return your call.”

You may include one alternative contact method, but don’t overwhelm the caller with options.

Adjust the number of rings to allow time to answer, but not so many that callers get frustrated—four to six rings is standard. People with disabilities may need more time.

Leaving a Message

Leave your number and name first, slowly and distinctly. Do not rush your details at the end. It is short, state when you are free, and leave your number at the end.

If you are prone to chattering too much, list down what you want to say before calling. If need be, re-record your message if it was not clear.

Wrong Number Messages

If you get a message clearly for someone else, you need not call back—but if there is a callback number provided, it is a nice thing to do. It is especially appreciated if the message was urgent (like rescheduling an appointment).

Returning Calls

Strive to return calls within 24 hours, whenever feasible. Most telephone systems permit you to listen to messages away from your location. When returning calls and getting voicemail, leave your phone number and state when you are available in an effort to minimize back-and-forth.