Notes and letters.

The History of Written Communication

We've traveled far from the ink, envelope, and stamp days. Email, text messaging, instant messaging, blogs, and online bulletin boards dominate how we communicate. Does that make handwriting obsolete? Hardly. Although lengthy, handwritten letters may nowadays be the exception, the healthy greeting card and stationery industry proves that handwritten messages continue to matter—especially for thankfulness, condolence, or celebration. It's all about choosing the best vehicle for your message.

Electronic mail or messages are best reserved for short notices, casual invitations, or impromptu revisions. But for significant or formal occasions—weddings, condolences, or black-tie galas—nothing can beat the human touch of pen and paper. A hand-written note can express warmth and thoughtfulness that electronic media can hardly match. People toss out e-mails, but they retain mementos of cards and letters.

Your Stationery "Wardrobe"

Stationery has come a long way from simple white or cream paper. Options now range from colorful sheets to individually designed stationery and do-it-yourself print templates. Stationery nowadays dictates the personality and style of the sender—everything from classy to playful. It is so simple to customize using a professional printer or a home computer.

Types of Notepaper:

Fold-over note cards and correspondence cards are used for thank-you notes, brief messages, and invitations. You may have them personalized with your initials, name, or leave them blank.

Informals are actually the most formal and reserved for formal notes, usually printed in black on white or ecru-colored paper. Women use them for condolence or formal invitations; men use them when mailing out notes as a couple.

Correspondence cards are the largest (approximately 4¼ x 6½ inches), and fold-over notes and informals are smaller (minimum 3½ x 5 inches, the smallest USPS size).

For Men:

Traditional men's stationery is the "monarch sheet" (7¼ x 10½ inches), convenient for printed as well as written messages. Most people now prefer correspondence cards. Names (no titles) may be centered on top, with contact information optionally included.

For Women:

Women's stationery is smaller and most formal is a double folded piece opening like a book. Classic white and pastels are traditional for formal correspondence, but modern designs embrace any color coordination of ink, paper, and borders.

For Kids and Teens:

Making thank-you note writing enjoyable, kids can employ their own creative, personalized stationery with bold fonts and graphics—even lined templates to guide beginners.

For Families:

"House stationery" might include the surname, address, or even coat of arms. It might be used by any household member, including guests.

Where to Write

When writing on a fold-over note, start wherever appropriate in light of any printed material. Write on one, two, or all four pages—just make it readable.

Engraving: The most handsome and expensive, with raised type and a dainty "bruise" in the back.

Letterpress: An old process on the rise again, with sunk inked letters.

Thermography: A bit less expensive than engraving, creating raised and glossy lettering.

Lithography: Flat, crisp printing—fine for everyday use and less expensive.

Laser Printing: Fine for do-it-yourself projects or casual letters.

Embossing: Puffs up text or imagery without using ink; "blind embossing" is inkless, and "debossing" pushes the design into the paper.

Quality paper puts the final polish on things, so it's wise to print it on a good printer.

The Envelope

Envelope linings add refinement and secrecy but may add postage. You can use both sides of a sheet—except when the ink seeps through. With fold-over cards, simply keep writing from page to page as you need to.

Computer-Generated Stationery:

You can create professional-looking stationery at home with the correct fonts and paper. Try different layouts, but do not use too fussy and hard-to-read fonts.

Writing on Envelopes

Be readable. Use plain writing or block print.

Check all addresses carefully. Mistakes can result in weeks' delay in mailing.

Return address: Machine processing puts it best on the front (top left). Formal stationery has it on the back flap.

Recipient's address: Possibly in block (business) or indented (personal) format. Utilize full titles and names if appropriate.

Set international mail address according to that country's practice.

Additional Tips

Utilize "Personal" on a letter sent to someone's place of business if you want to keep it confidential.

Mark a letter "Confidential" only for business reasons—personal correspondence may best be marked "Personal" to avoid assistants reading it.

If you receive a letter in mistake, mark "Please Forward" or "Opened by Mistake" and leave it for the carrier.

Seals:

Charity or nonprofit seals convey support but are never to be used on formal invitations or condolences.

Decorative seals (stickers or wax) are ideal for weddings and special events but are optional only.

Handwritten Notes: Small Gestures, Big Impact

Handwritten notes—improvisational, casual, and personal—are still one of the most valued means of communication. Although often reserved for thank-you notes, there are plenty of good reasons to pen one:

To express appreciation for a gift, a meal, or a favor

To repay something borrowed

To wish someone well on a baby, graduation, promotion, or accomplishment

To mark a birthday, wedding, or anniversary

To issue an invitation or just stay in touch

To offer sympathy or condolence

To apologize for an error or misunderstanding

To thank a host when you were the guest of honor

Folding and Sending Letters

When you fold a letter, there is one traditional practice which dictates the open edge to be inserted inside the envelope first. This will help the recipient read the writing right-side-up when he/she draws it out. Fold it tidily once or twice according to the size of the envelope.

Writing Thank-You Notes

The two rules of gold: be honest and write quickly—ideally within a week. A delayed thank-you cools off. Write in your own voice, as if you were writing to that person directly. You can use personal stationery, plain blank cards, or store-bought thank-you cards. If the card contains a pre-printed message, always add an added note of your own.

If the gift is a collaborative one, like "The Hansons," send the card to the parents (e.g., "Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Hanson"), and thank each one individually in the note.

If multiple people hosted an event for you, each one has his or her own note. If the group is too big to sign each one personally, it's okay to send one note to the person who put it together and ask him or her to pass on your thanks.

For Dinners or Overnight Visits

A written message or an email is fine for close friends, but if you were making a first-time visit to someone's place, a written message shows true appreciation—especially if they are new friends or if you were traveling.

Example (Dinner Visit):

Dear Chandra and Tony,

Thank you very much for the warm welcome! The paella was fantastic—restaurant-quality! We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and hope to reciprocate soon in Phoenix.

Warm regards,

Barbara

Sample (Overnight Stay):

Dear Mrs. Silverman,

The highlight of my summer was last weekend—especially the hike up Mt. Philo! Thanks again for the hospitality.

Sincerely,

Chelsea

If the hosts are relatives or close friends whom you see regularly, a note might not be necessary, but it's still a nice gesture if you won't be seeing them in the near future.

When You're the Guest of Honor

When someone is giving a party in your honor, sending flowers or a small gift of thanks is a polite way of expressing gratitude—either the day following or even a day in advance. A note in your own hand should follow.

Example:

Dear Phoebe,

You and Julia certainly made my birthday day one to remember. I was not looking forward to thirty, but you girls put a smile on my face and produced a memorable occasion.

Love,

Wendy

Sending Congratulations

Whether it’s a graduation, a job promotion, or a new baby, it’s thoughtful to send a card or note to celebrate someone’s good news. While a quick text or email is common, following up with a handwritten message makes it more meaningful.

Example:

Dear Sam,

We’re so proud of your graduation—and your double major! Congratulations!

Love,

Aunt Marsha

Reply:

Dear Aunt Marsha and Uncle Jim,

Thanks a million! Your support meant the world to me all these years. I'll be working out of San Diego next month but look forward to sitting in on a game with you this fall.

Love,

Sam

When someone congratulates you in a personal note, it's nice to get back with a small thank you—by phone, in person, or in writing.

Use Your Natural Voice

The best notes are your own voice. To stay in your genuine tone:

Use regular language, not big words you wouldn't naturally use

Use contractions (i.e., "don't" rather than "do not")

Add the recipient's name to the message for a bit of personal touch

Use punctuation to show your tone—just not excessively

Keep your note short and to the point

Sharing Good News

It's not uncommon to send notice cards for big milestones—births, weddings, graduation. While no gifts are expected, mentioning something about the notice in a card or note is a thoughtful thing to do. If you see the news in the newspaper, take a photo of it and attach it with your note.

Apologies in Writing

A phone call should suffice in apologizing, but a note after follow-up in some cases, especially when a faux pas was an inconvenience or caused harm, shows concern.

For Canceling Plans:

Dear Janeen,

Sorry to have to cancel Monday night—I'd forgotten the holiday would have our guests staying an extra day. Hope we can reschedule soon.

Love,

Monica

For Accidental Damage:

Dear Mrs. Lee,

I’m truly sorry our dog ruined your flower bed. We’re fixing the fence tonight and I’d love to replace the zinnias. Let me know which ones to order.

Sincerely,

Joy Caswell

Greeting Cards

Store-bought greeting cards are perfectly fine for birthdays, holidays, or other occasions—but add a short message of your own inside. That’s what makes it personal.

Signatures:

In handwritten cards, the names may be in either order: "Lisa and Charles" or "Charles and Lisa"

No last names are required for close friends

For printed cards, use last names: "Lisa and Charles Bell"

When children are included, the father's name is first traditionally: "Charles and Lisa Bell and Charles Jr."

Large families have many choices:

"The Johnstons"

"The Johnstons—Bob, Jean, Bobby, Zoe, and Jen"

"The Johnstons—All Five"

Blended Families: Use a catch-all like "Chris and Peg Morita and all the children," or list everyone with his/her own last name.

Holiday Newsletters

During the holidays, some people write cards with news and photos. These little newsletters are a great way to have some highlights of your year—but keep it light. While most people like them, people are evenly split: roughly 53 % like them, and 47 % don't.

Year-end letter do's and don'ts for an effective letter:

Stay general and positive news—no rehab updates or medical personal news.

Be brief—one page or less.

Handwrite your salutation ("Dear Karen and Phil") rather than a generic "Dear friends."

Initial each letter separately.

Include a brief personalized message within the card.

Do not sound arrogant.

Social Cards (Calling Cards)

Social cards—also referred to as calling or personal cards—are similar to informal business cards. They give personal contact information (typically phone or email, not your home address) and are perfect for new friends, gift enclosures, or friendly visits.

Design tips:

List your name and preferred method(s) of contact.

Only type your address by hand if someone needs it.

You can use a courtesy title (Mr./Ms.), but some think it unnecessary. Professional titles (Dr., etc.) are optional—use initials (e.g. "Ph.D.") to avoid confusion. Honorifics like "The Honorable" aren't used.

E-Cards and Email Thanks

It's okay to send holiday greetings or thank-you messages by email—especially to people you email regularly. Just keep in mind:

Do:

Write your message like a card—considerate and personal.

Use plain, civil language; no texting abbreviations.

Avoid:

Revealing other people's email addresses (use Bcc).

Substituting a handwritten "thank you" for a present—pen-and-paper messages are more heartfelt.

Personal Letters

Handwritten letters are less common, but no less special. The tangible aspect—letters sealed with ribbon—can be more intimate than an email. They're also handy for formal issues where paper trails count.

Letter structure

Return address (upper right corner). Put on stationery, or handwrite it there.

Date—put under the address or in the same corner if your stationery prints have your address.

Body—combining good news and updates. Avoid sharing private, defamatory, or personal details; emails can be forwarded.

 

Close—close warmly and mention common memories.

Avoid writing:

Complaints, embarrassing or too personal stories, gossip, or irate rants—written words linger.

Complimentary Closings

Choose your sign-off based on tone:

Formal/business: “Sincerely,” “Very sincerely,” etc.

Semi-formal: “Kind regards,” “Warmest regards,” etc.

Friendly: “Cordially,” “Affectionately,” “Love.”

Thankful context: “Gratefully.”

Not seen in a while: “As ever.”

Very formal (e.g., clergy, dignitaries): “Faithfully yours,” “I have the honor to remain… respectfully yours.”

Signing Your Name

Ensure the recipient knows who wrote the letter:

Use full name for strangers (“Georgia Delaney”).

If you’ve spoken only by phone, add your last name parenthetically (“Georgia (Delaney)”).

To close friends, your first name or nickname ("Gia").

For a couple, sign only your own name—mention the other in the message. In cards, joint signatures like "Wendy and Paul" are okay.

Registries/Guestbooks:

Couples sign "Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Harrison" or "Judy and Matt Harrison."

Hotels: single "Peter Norton," couple "Mr. and Mrs. Peter Norton," or "Peter Norton and family."

Sponsors or benefactors normally include their titles ("Mrs. Amanda Grayson," "Dr. Richard Peterson").

Business Writing

Company letters—complaint, claim, or references—need to be typed and addressed to a specific person where possible (not "To Whom It May Concern").

Recommendation letters:

Be honest and sincere only when warranted.

State your relationship, acquaintance time, and proper examples.

Supply follow-up contact information.

Praise letters (commendations):

Give specific details of the good service or behavior.

Complaint or claim letters

Be considerate and factual.

CC to the person who can assist you.

CC to the person who can modify it.

Utilize business layout (even via email).

Include relevant details like order numbers.

Provide a reasonable solution and close graciously.

Make a personal copy.