Houseguests.

Hosting Guests at Home

It is great to have a friend or relative overnight one or two nights or over a weekend. Such occasions are a great way to spend quality time. You may be sitting down for breakfast and talking, dining out, or just catching up. Host and guests must respect each other. The host needs to treat guests with warmth, while the guests need to respect the domestic routine. No matter if it's a single visitor for a single night or a whole group for a couple of days, an effective visit depends upon open expectations.

Scheduling the Visit

You're the host and must determine the visit dates and ask the visitors when they will leave and arrive. Avoid open-ended invitations like "Stay as long as you like!"—it may lead to confusion. Be direct and straightforward:

"We'd love to have you Saturday through Sunday. Do you need to be home Sunday night for work?"

If you are the guest and the host is not specific about dates, just ask. Then the host must send an email or note and put in any plans so guests can pack accordingly.

Also, make it simple for your guests to find you. Leave directions, a GPS location, or transportation details if they're flying or taking the train.

Welcoming Your Guests

Upon arrival, greet them to their room and bathroom, and offer a brief tour if they're unfamiliar with your home. Show them how to work things such as light switches or the coffee machine.

Invite them to serve themselves from snacks or beverages, but mention what is out of bounds:

"Help yourself to any of the items in the fridge except the blueberries, which are for breakfast."

Getting Ready for a Guest Room

Need to know whether your guest bedroom is cozy? Sleep in it yourself. That's the best way to detect issues like a faulty blind or a lumpy mattress.

A list of essentials for a guest room follows:

In the Bedroom:

Clean bed with pillows and sheets

Extra blanket

Reading lamp

Magazines or books

Alarm clock

Window treatments (curtains or blinds)

Glass and water

Tissues

Trash can

Hangers

Luggage rack (optional)

In the Bathroom:

New bath mat and fresh towels

New soap

Glasses for drinking

One of each toilet paper (one being used, one extra)

Tissues

Shampoo, lotion, toothpaste

Extra toothbrush, headache tablets, and feminine items

No Guest Room?

A sofa bed or air mattress in the living room works fine—just let your guest know ahead of time if they’ll be sharing space or if kids need to give up their room for the night.

Daily Routines

Let guests know what your household’s routine looks like. For example:

“Sunday’s our sleep-in day. If you’re up early, the muffins are in the drawer and the coffee machine is ready—just press start.”

Let them know if you will be absent when they visit, e.g., at a meeting or school pickups. This helps them organize their day and prevents shocks.

Being truthful about your family's beat—without expecting guests to comply with every stipulation—is easier for everyone concerned.

When a Couple Visits

If your son and his girlfriend are coming over and you'd rather they both sleep in different rooms, it's okay to set that boundary. Just let them know ahead of time. Be truthful, but pick what is more vital to you—maintaining the relationship or the rules.

Planning Activities and Meals

Get the most out of your visitors' time by suggesting local points of interest or activities that you can do together or individually. Plan a few suggestions in advance rather than waiting until they come.

Precook your meals and restock supplies. If dining out, reserve a table in advance. Place breakfast items in the morning, and let guests sleep late if they want to.

It's okay to ask for help with little things like BBQ or reading to the kids. The guests want to help and feel awkward if you do not give them the opportunity.

Food Costs

For short stays, the host generally picks up the tab for food. If guests are staying longer than a few days, they should offer to contribute on groceries or take the host out to dinner. Be clear about who is covering the bill if you go out to eat. Guests need to complain if a restaurant is too expensive for them.

When It's Time to Leave

Help your visitors pack or transport to the airport if needed. Even if you do not wake up at 4 AM, help plan ahead. Say goodbye to them warmly and walk them out—do not make it appear that you are rushing to return to regular life.

When Kids Are Visiting Too

If your guest has children along, attempt to come up with activities suitable for kids, particularly if they are your own children. Ask permission from the parents first before arranging anything.

That being said, it's the parents' responsibility—not the host's—to keep their children in check, clean up after them, and send them to bed at a reasonable hour.

Having a guest book is a sweet tradition. Have visitors sign a message or memory when they leave. You will be able to locate one that you like—sophisticated or relaxed.

Guest Tips

It's a good idea to be a thoughtful guest—is visiting friends or family. These are things that you should do:

Make visits short (3 nights max is best)

Bring your own toiletries

Don't leave a mess behind, especially in the shared areas

Offer assistance, especially in the kitchen

Be flexible and cheerful

Pledge to split meals on longer stays

Double check that you've packed everything

Bring a gift or take your host out

Handwrite a thank-you note soon afterward

If you want to take a break during your visit, it's fine—just let your host know:

"Mind if I relax with my book for a bit?" or "Would it be okay if I took a quick nap?"

Don't do these:

Don't bring pets unless explicitly invited

Don't take outside invitations without asking

Don't use other people's computers or phones without asking

Don't use excessive hot water or invade privacy

Don't snoop

Before You Leave:

Ask your host whether you may take bed linens. It's usually more convenient to leave the bed stripped and fold the sheets neatly.

Extended Stays

Extended stays are usually for immediate family members or exceptional situations like job hunting. Hosts and visitors should communicate freely about routines, car use, meals, and recreation.

Hosts should:

Be honest about what's convenient

Don't invite your guest to events unless you're specifically invited

Make sure the guest can manage without you if you're going to be away

State use of the vehicle, computer, and washing machine

Guests should:

Make it clear they don't have to be kept entertained

Respect the host's personal space and boundaries

Help out when you can

Be truthful in terms of any changes in their plans or schedule

Even with the family, don't assume it is okay to just show up. Always check first.

Host Gift Ideas

It is customary to gift when staying overnight. For longer stays, gift something more thoughtful. Options include:

A bestseller book

Beach towels or hand towels

Monogrammed cocktail napkins

A fine bottle of wine or liqueur

A canvas tote bag

Kitchenware or nesting bowls

Golf balls (in case the host golfs)

A spice kit or picture frame

Candles or a houseplant

You may gift at arrival, during stay, or after.