Tipping.

Tipping Today: Why It’s Confusing and What to Do About It

Tipping is one of the trickiest and most confusing parts of modern etiquette. Part of the confusion comes from how tipping customs change over time—and vary depending on where you are.

Tipping vs. Saying “Thank You”

First and most importantly, tipping doesn’t replace saying “thank you.” Both matter. A tip is a meaningful way to show appreciation for good service, but treating people with kindness and respect is just as important. A generous tip can’t make up for rude behavior. Complimenting someone directly—or giving positive feedback to their manager—is another great way to recognize good service.

How Much Should You Tip?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but here are three simple rules that work in most cases:

• Tip 15% of the cost of a service.

• Tip $2 for the first service, then $1 for each additional one.

• For holiday tips, give about 15% of what you’d pay for one regular service.

Always think about the situation. A tip might vary depending on how hard the job was. For example, a mover who carries a heavy dresser up several flights of stairs deserves more than one who places it in a ground-floor room.

Extra Tipping Tips

• Not sure if you should tip? Ask ahead of time. For example, call the store before your furniture delivery or check with a salon receptionist.

• Tip based on the amount before tax.

• Be discreet—tipping isn’t about showing off.

• Cash is usually best, but small gifts (especially during the holidays) are also a thoughtful touch, especially for people you tip regularly, like your barber or hairstylist.

Tipping in Restaurants

In restaurants, tipping is expected—and often required. Think of it as part of your agreement when you dine out: the restaurant serves you a meal, you pay for it, and add a 15%–20% tip to help pay the server’s wages. Many people just go with 20% because it’s easier to calculate. Either way, it’s okay to tip based on the amount before tax.

Counter Tip Jars

You don’t have to put money in a tip jar at a coffee shop or café, but you might choose to—especially if the service was great or you’re a regular customer. These workers usually earn minimum wage, unlike restaurant servers, but that still doesn’t go far. Even a small tip is appreciated.

When Service Falls Short

Sometimes things go wrong: your steak is overcooked, or dessert takes forever. Even then, you should still tip—at least 15%. Tips often get split among all staff, including the kitchen and support team, who may have done their jobs well. Not tipping doesn’t always send the message you intend; your server might think you forgot or assume you’re cheap.

Instead, talk to a manager. Explain the problem and let them know you’re considering not coming back. That’s a more effective way to improve future service.

The Tipping Debate in America

Right now, restaurant servers are often paid less than minimum wage and rely on tips to make up the difference. Some states require employers to pay servers at least minimum wage, but most customers don’t know which states those are—so they tip as usual.

Tipping is supposed to reflect good service. But when it becomes expected, it loses its meaning. And if you're never going to return to that restaurant, tipping doesn't improve future service either.

There are two big issues with the current system:

1. Restaurant owners are shifting the responsibility of fair pay onto the customer.

2. Tipping becomes an obligation, not a reward for good service.

Etiquette evolves, and many people are now rethinking how tipping should work. Changes are slow, but the conversation is ongoing—and we may eventually move toward a fairer system.

Other Restaurant Tipping Scenarios

• Buffets: A 10% tip is standard. You're thanking the staff for things like clearing plates and refilling drinks.

• Exceptional service: Tip closer to 20% if your server went above and beyond.

• Already added tip: Some restaurants include an automatic gratuity (often 18%) for large parties. Check your bill so you don’t double-tip unless you want to.

• Lingering at your table: If you stay longer than usual, consider adding an extra 10–15% since you may be affecting the server’s earnings.

• Using a discount: If you use a coupon (like “buy one, get one half-off”), tip based on the original value of the meal.

Tipping the Host or Maître d’

Normally, you don’t tip the person who seats you. But if you're a regular and they do you favors (like saving your favorite table), tipping $10–$20 every so often is appreciated. If you’re not a regular but they go out of their way to get you a table on a busy night, a $10–$15 tip after you’re seated is appropriate. For large parties, tip more.

Avoid trying to “buy” a table with a $20 handshake—especially if you don’t know the host. That kind of gesture can come off as pushy or even offensive, and it won't win you any favors from other customers.

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Bartenders

How much you tip a bartender depends on why you’re there:

• If you’re waiting at the bar before a restaurant meal:
  If you pay for your drinks separately or run a tab, tip 15–20% when you pay. If your drinks are added to your dinner bill, include them in your overall tip.

• If you're just there for drinks:
  Tip 15–20% of your total. Use the higher end if the bartender started a tab for you.

Wine Stewards (Sommeliers)

Tip 15–20% of the wine's cost. So if you order a $400 bottle, the tip is $60–$80. Tip in cash when the last glass is poured or include a separate line on your credit card receipt. Only tip your server for the food—not the wine.

Musicians

• If you enjoy live music at a bar or restaurant, tipping $2–$5 when you leave is thoughtful—even if you didn’t request a song.

• If you do make a request, add at least $1 per song.

• For musicians who play at your table, tip $1 per person or about $5 for the group. Add more if you request a specific tune.

• You don’t have to stop eating—just smile, say “thank you,” and tip when they finish.

Coat Check Attendants

Tip $2 for the first coat, and $1 for each extra coat when you pick them up.

Restroom Attendants

Tip at least 50¢ if they offer you a towel or keep the space clean. If they do more—like fix a hem or brush you off—tip $2–$3. If there’s a coin tray, leave the tip there. No tip is needed if they don’t assist you at all.

Valet Parking

Tip $2 in smaller towns and up to $5 in big cities when your car is returned to you, not when you drop it off.

Busboys

You don’t usually tip busboys, but:

• If they clean up a spill, tip $1–$2.

• In cafeterias, if someone carries your tray, $1–$2 is appropriate.

Tipping While Traveling

At Airports

• Skycaps/Porters: $2 for the first bag, $1 for each extra (more for heavy luggage).

• Wheelchair Attendants: $2–$5 depending on how far they help you.

• Cart Drivers: $2 for short trips, up to $5 for longer ones.

• Shuttle Drivers (hotel or courtesy): Tip $2 for the first bag, $1 for each additional bag if they help with luggage.

On Trains

• Dining or club car staff: Tip 15–20%, at least $1.

• Porters/Redcaps: $2 for the first bag, $1 for each extra.

• Sleeping car attendant: $2 per person, per night.

Taxis and Rideshares

• Tip 15–20% of the fare, with $1 as the minimum.

• Add $2 for the first bag and $1 for each extra if the driver helps.

• Avoid using large bills, especially on short rides.

• For limo or car services, tip 15%–20%, or confirm whether it’s already included in your fee.

Bus Tours or Charter Buses

• Tip 10–20% of the total cost, or $2–$5 per person per day.

• Tip the tour guide the same amount: $2–$5 per day per person.

Cruise Ships

Cruise lines usually include tips in your fare or give you guidelines and envelopes for tipping. You can check their website or ask your travel agent. Expect tips to add 10–20% to your cruise cost. Tip extra only for outstanding service.

At Hotels

Doorman

• No tip for opening doors.

• Tip $1–$4 for tasks like hailing a cab, helping with bags, or loading your car.

• Add a little more if it’s raining or especially busy.

Bellman

• $2 for the first bag, $1 for each additional.

• If they show you around or help with special requests, tip a few extra dollars.

• In luxury hotels, tip only the person handling your luggage—not someone from the front desk who just walks you to your room.

Concierge

• No tip for basic help like directions or handing out maps.

• Tip $5–$10 for things like booking reservations.

• For harder tasks like getting tickets to a sold-out show, tip $15–$20—or 10–20% of the ticket’s cost.

• Tip at the time of service, not after your stay.

• If they tried but couldn’t fulfill your request, a small tip (5–10% of the cost) still shows appreciation.

Room Service

• Check if a gratuity (usually 18%) is already included.

• If not, tip 15–20%, just like in a restaurant.

• Even if the bill includes a service charge, consider giving $2 directly to the person delivering the food.

Housekeeping

• Tip $2–$3 per night.

• More if you’re staying in a suite or the service is exceptional.

• Tip daily to ensure the correct staff receives it.

• If you don’t see them, leave the tip in an envelope or with a note marked “Housekeeping.”

Valet (Clothing Service)

• Tip $1 for one or two items, $2–$3 for more.

Other Hotel Staff

• Tip personal service providers (like barbers or massage therapists) the same as you would outside the hotel.

• Pool or beach attendants should be tipped only for extra service—like setting up chairs for a group. In that case, tip $1 per person.

Private Clubs

• Some clubs don’t allow tipping. If you’re a guest, ask your host or check with club staff about their policy.

• Tips may be automatically added to restaurant and bar bills.

• Caddies and locker room attendants are often tipped individually.

• Members might tip $2–$5 per service throughout the season, or give a lump sum of $25–$100 at season’s end.

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Beauty Salons, Barbershops, and Spas

When multiple people work on you at a salon, tip each based on the cost of their individual services. Or, just leave 15–20% of your total bill with the receptionist and ask for it to be shared among everyone who helped you.

Salon owners might not accept tips—it depends on the place. If you're not sure, ask the receptionist.

For barbers, tipping 15–20% of the total is standard (no less than $1), even if others also helped. Shampooers and those who do shaves typically get $1–$2. Manicurists usually get $2–$3.

At spas, tip 15–20% of the total unless a gratuity is already included. If it is, you don’t have to tip more—but you can always add something extra for outstanding service, either directly or through the front desk.

Take-Out Food Deliveries

When food is delivered to your home, a 10% tip is typical. If the delivery is especially fast, friendly, or requires extra effort (like climbing stairs), tip 15%.

For example:

• A pizza delivery on a $10–$15 bill: $2 is fine.

• A larger order might warrant a $3–$5 tip depending on the number of items.

If there's a delivery fee, it usually goes to the restaurant, not the driver—so tipping is still appreciated.

Tipping Professionals

Doctors, lawyers, teachers, nurses, and other professionals aren’t usually tipped. However, a thoughtful gift may be appropriate to show appreciation.

Many workplaces have rules about gifts or extra pay—always check before giving anything.

Home Helpers

Part-Time Workers (e.g. housekeepers, babysitters):
Instead of tipping every visit, it's common to give a holiday bonus—usually the cost of one session. Babysitters may also be tipped a few dollars each time, especially in some areas. A small holiday gift from your child is a nice touch.

Full-Time or Salaried Employees (e.g. nannies):
They usually don’t get tips during the year. Instead, give an end-of-year bonus—often a month’s salary—and a holiday gift. Children should be part of choosing a gift for their nanny.

Residential Building Staff

Staff in apartment buildings are typically tipped at the holidays. How much depends on where you live, how much help you’ve received, the building type, and how long staff have worked there. If you’ve been tipping throughout the year (e.g., for getting taxis or accepting packages), your holiday tips can be smaller.

Some buildings organize a staff holiday fund where residents contribute, and the money is divided among employees based on their role and seniority.

Holiday Tips & Gifts

During the holidays, it’s traditional to thank the people who help you all year—like your dog walker, cleaner, babysitter, hairstylist, doorman, or trash collector.

How much you give depends on:

• The quality and frequency of service

• Where you live (larger cities usually mean larger tips)

• Your budget

If you’ve been tipping regularly during the year, you can give a smaller holiday tip or a thoughtful gift instead. When it comes to gifts for teachers, babysitters, or daycare workers, involve your child in choosing something meaningful.

Hiring for Parties

When you hire staff or entertainment for an event, tipping is often expected.
Some caterers include a gratuity in their price; others let you know a tip is optional. It’s best to ask about tipping when you hire the service so there’s no confusion later.

If you’re paying in person (and not being billed later), pay staff before they leave and add a 15–20% tip if it’s not already included.

• Catering staff: $10 per person is standard. If there’s only one server, give about $20.

• Entertainers (e.g., musicians or magicians): Tip 15–20% of their fee—unless a gratuity is already included in the contract.