Tipping.

Tipping Today: Why It's Baffling and What to Do About It

Tipping is likely the most complex and confusing part of modern etiquette. One explanation for the confusion arises from the way tipping practices change over time—and vary by place.

Tipping vs. Saying "Thank You"

First and foremost, tipping is not a substitute for saying "thank you." Both are necessary. A tip is a pleasant way of showing appreciation for fine service, but being polite and courteous to people is equally necessary. A big tip cannot make up for poor manners. Complimenting someone face to face—or giving good feedback to their manager—is another great way of showing appreciation for good service.

How Much Should You Tip?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but here are three simple rules that work in most cases:

Tip 15% of the cost of a service.

Tip $2 for the first service, then $1 for each additional one.

For holiday tips, give about 15% of what you’d pay for one regular service.

Always take the situation into account. A tip can hinge on how hard the job was. For example, a mover who carries an incredibly heavy dresser up several flights of stairs is worth more than one who places it in a first-floor room.

More Tipping Advice

Not sure if you should tip? Ask first. For example, call the store before your furniture is delivered or ask a salon receptionist.

Tip on the before-tax amount.

Discreet—tipping is not flashy.

Cash is preferred, but small gifts (especially during the holidays) are a thoughtful gesture, especially for those you tip regularly, like your hair stylist or barber.

Tipping in Restaurants

In restaurants, tipping is de rigueur—and at times compulsory. You can consider it part of the bargain when you dine out: the restaurant cooks for you, you pay, and add a 15%–20% tip to help cover the server's wages. Most simply round off to 20% because it's easier math. Either way, it's fine to tip on the pretax amount.

Counter Tip Jars

You don't have to toss money into a tip jar at a café or coffeehouse, but you can—especially if the service was top-notch or you're a regular customer. These employees make minimum wage, unlike restaurant servers, but even that doesn't stretch far. Even a small tip is appreciated.

When Service Falls Short

Stuff happens occasionally: your steak is overcooked, or the dessert is a eternity. Even then, tip—at least 15%. Tips usually get split between all employees, support staff, and kitchen staff, who did their jobs well. Not tipping does not always send the message you intend to; your server may think you forgot or that you're frugal.

Instead, talk to a manager. Explain the problem and let them know you’re considering not coming back. That’s a more effective way to improve future service.

The Tipping Debate in America

Nowadays, restaurant waiters are usually paid sub-minimum wage and have to supplement it with tips. There are some states that require employers to pay servers a minimum wage, but consumers for the most part have no idea which states these are—so they tip as usual.

Tipping is supposed to signal quality service. But if it's mandatory, it loses its significance. And if you're never returning to the restaurant, tipping does not improve future service either.

There are two big issues with the current system:

Restaurant companies are passing the expense of good pay on to the diner.

Tipping is now obligatory, rather than a bribe for good service.

Etiquette is changing, and many people are second-guessing how tipping should be. Gradually, things are modifying, but the conversation never stops—and perhaps someday we will make the change to a fairer system.

Other Restaurant Tipping Scenarios

Buffets: Tip 10%. You're showing appreciation for things like clearing plates and refilling glasses.

Exceptional service: Tip something closer to 20% if your server did something above the call of duty.

Already on the tip: Some restaurants charge a mandatory gratuity (typically 18%) for groups. Check your bill so you won't accidentally double-tip unless you'd like to.

Waiting at your table: If you're slow, consider adding an additional 10–15% because you could be affecting the server's pay.

Deducting a discount: If you're using a coupon (e.g., "buy one, get one half-price"), tip on the full price of the meal.

Tipping the Host or Maître d'

You typically do not tip the person who seats you. If you're a regular and they hold a table for you (et cetera), tipping $10–$20 occasionally is great. If you're not a regular but they go above and beyond to seat you on a busy night, a $10–$15 tip once seated is acceptable. Tip extra for large parties.

Don't try to "purchase" a table with a $20 handshake—especially if you don't know the host. This will be perceived as pushy, even rude, and won't get you a lot of brownie points with other patrons.

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Bartenders

How much you tip a bartender depends on why you're there:

If you're eating at the bar before a restaurant meal:

If you pay for your beverages separately or have an open tab, tip 15–20% when you pay. If your drinks are charged on the same bill as your meal, include them in your overall tip.

If you're only having beverages:

Tip 15–20% of the total. Use the higher amount if the bartender opened a tab for you.

Wine Stewards (Sommeliers)

Tip 15–20% of the wine cost. So if you're purchasing a $400 bottle, your tip is $60–$80. Tip in cash when the last glass is being served or put a separate line on your credit card bill. Tip only your server on the food, not the wine.

Musicians

If you enjoy live music at a restaurant or bar, tip $2–$5 when you leave as a courtesy, even if you didn't request a song.

If you do ask for one, add a minimum of $1 per song.

For tablemates who play, tip $1 each person or about $5 for the group. Add more if you especially request a particular song.

Don't have to leave eating—just smile, say "thank you," and tip when they finish.

Coat Check Attendants

Tip $2 on the first coat, and $1 each on subsequent coats when you pick them up.

Restroom Attendants

Tip at least 50¢ if they give you a towel or keep the area clean. If they do extra—such as hemming a repair or brushing you off—tip $2–$3. If they have a coin tray, drop the tip in there. No tip if they don't assist you at all.

Valet Parking

Tip $2 in small towns and up to $5 in big cities when your car is delivered back to you, not when you pick it up.

Busboys

You never tip busboys, except:

If they clean up a spill, tip $1–$2.

In cafeterias, if they carry your tray for you, $1–$2 is fine.

Tipping While Traveling

At Airports

Skycaps/Porters: $2 for the first bag, $1 for each additional (more for heavy bags).

Wheelchair Attendants: $2–$5 depending on how far they help you.

Cart Drivers: $2 for short trips, up to $5 for longer ones.

Shuttle Drivers (hotel or courtesy): Tip $2 for the first bag, $1 apiece for subsequent bags if they help with bags.

On Trains

Dining or club car attendants: Tip 15–20%, at least $1.

Porters/Redcaps: $2 for first bag, $1 per subsequent one.

Sleeping car attendant: $2 per person, per night.

Taxis and Rideshares

Tip 15–20% of the fare, at least $1.

Add a $2 fee for the first bag and $1 for any additional if the driver helps.

Do not accept large bills, especially for short rides.

For automobile or limo services, tip 15%–20%, or check if it is already included in your fee.

Bus Tours or Charter Buses

Tip 10–20% of the fare, or $2–$5 per person per day.

Tip the same: $2–$5 per day per person. 

Cruise Ships

Cruise lines usually add tips to your bill or give you information and envelopes for tipping. Check on their website or ask your travel agency. Tips should complement your cruise fare by 10–20%. Tip extra only for outstanding service.

At Hotels

Doorman

No tip for opening doors.

Tip $1–$4 for tasks like hailing a cab, helping with bags, or loading your car.

Tip a little extra if it rains or is especially hectic.

Bellman

$2 for the first bag, $1 for each additional.

If they take you on a tour or help with special requests, tip a few extra dollars.

In upscale hotels, tip only the person who is bringing your bags—not an employee of the front desk who just ushers you to your room.

Concierge

No tip for simple assistance such as directions or distributing maps.

Tip $5–$10 for activities such as reserving reservations.

For more difficult endeavors such as obtaining tickets for a sold-out performance, tip $15–$20—or 10–20% of the ticket price.

Tip during the service, not after your departure.

If they attempted but were unable to accommodate your request, a minimal tip (5–10% of the price) still expresses gratitude.

Room Service

See if a gratuity (typically 18%) is included.

If not, tip 15–20% like you would in a restaurant.

Even if there is a service charge on the bill, it is polite to hand $2 to the food bringer directly.

Housekeeping

Tip $2–$3 per night.

More if you are staying in a suite or the service is excellent.

Tip daily so the correct staff receives it.

If you do not spot them, leave the tip in an envelope with a note that reads "Housekeeping."

Valet (Clothing Service)

Tip $1 for one or two items, $2–$3 for multiple.

Other Hotel Staff

Tip personal service workers (like barbers or masseuses) the same as elsewhere in town.

Pool or beach attendants should be tipped only for exceptional service—like setting out chairs for a party. Then tip $1 per head.

Private Clubs

Some clubs frown on tipping. As a guest, ask your host or the club staff if tips are accepted.

Tips are occasionally included on restaurant and bar tabs.

Caddies and locker room personnel are typically tipped separately.

Members tip $2–$5 per service during the season, or tip in bulk for $25–$100 at season's end.

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Beauty Salons, Barbershops, and Spas

If many people treat you at a salon, tip each according to the price of his or her individual service. Or, simply give 15–20% of your total amount to the receptionist and request that it be distributed among all who served you.

Salon proprietors don't always accept tips—check with the receptionist if in doubt. 

For barbers, tipping 15–20% of the bill is standard (min. $1), even when you notice others help. Shampooers and shave experts typically get $1–$2. Manicurists tend to get $2–$3.

At spas, tip 15–20% of the total if no gratuity has been added. If this is the case, you don't have to tip again—but you can always add a little something extra for superior service, either to the server himself or through the front desk.

Take-Out Food Deliveries

When food is delivered to your home, a 10% tip is customary. If the delivery is especially quick, friendly, or requires special effort (like climbing stairs), tip 15%.

Example

A pizza delivery on a $10–$15 tab: $2 is okay.

A bigger order may call for a $3–$5 tip based on how many items.

If a delivery charge is included, it typically goes to the restaurant, not the driver—so tipping is still welcome.

Tipping Professionals

Doctors, attorneys, educators, nurses, and other professionals aren't typically tipped. But an expression of gratitude through a gift might be in order.

Most employers also have gift or overtime policies—always call ahead first before offering anything.

Home Helpers

Part-Time Staff (e.g. housecleaners, babysitters):

Instead of tipping per visit, it's customary to give a holiday gift—usually the cost of a single visit. Babysitters may also be tipped a few dollars per visit, especially in some locations. A small holiday present from your child is nice.

Full-Time or Salary-Receiving Staff (e.g. nannies):

They usually don't get tips over the course of a year. Give them an end-of-year bonus—often a month's wages—and a holiday gift instead. Children should be part of selecting a gift for their nanny.

Residential Building Staff

Apartment building employees are typically tipped for the holidays. The amount depends on where you live, the amount of service you've had, type of building, and how long employees have served you. If you've been tipping throughout the year (e.g., for having taxis bring you somewhere or delivering packages), your holiday tips can be lower.

Some residential complexes have a staff holiday fund whereby residents contribute, and the money is distributed among the employees based on job and seniority.

Holiday Tips & Gifts

During the holidays, it's traditional to thank the people who work for you during the year—like your dog walker, cleaner, babysitter, hairstylist, doorman, or trash collector.

How much you tip is determined by:

Quality and frequency of service

Where you reside (larger cities in general mean larger tips)

Budget

If you have tipped all year long, you can leave a small holiday tip, or a lovely gift in lieu. For teacher, babysitter, or daycare giver gifts, engage your child in the process of choosing something special.

Party Hiring

When hiring party personnel or entertainment, tipping is also expected.

Some caterers charge gratuity within their fee; some tell you that a tip is voluntary. It's best to ask when hiring the service so that there won't be confusion afterward.

If paying on location (and not billed subsequently), pay staff when they depart and add a 15–20% tip if not already included.

Catering attendants: $10 per head is average. If there is only one server, tip around $20. 

Entertainers (e.g., musicians or magicians): Tip 15–20% of their charge—unless gratuity is already part of the contract.